I’m better than I used to be.

So, I have been having a bad case of writers block lately. I know I dont have that many people who really care about what Im even saying in these little blogs, but I still enjoy it. Anywho so having writiers block I’ve been looking for inspiration in EVERYTHING. Luckily enough I found a website 🙂 http://www.thewritingreader.com/blog/tag/journaling-prompt/. As you can see I picked the prompt “write about how ive changed in the past year”.

Today, last year, I was probably working (at sonic of course). I bet we were probably talking about the cake that I was gonna make for Christmas. It came out to be a giant snowman. It was pretty awesome. Anyway, last year I was a very mean person. I hated everyone, including myself. There was only 3 people that were really close to me, and thats probably why I love them so dearly today. If you read my blog then you know from “That sonic in Friendswood https://moneymoneyy.wordpress.com/2012/12/03/that-sonic-in-friendswood/ that sonic was a life changing experience for me.

snowman

The only thing I really cared about last year was my terrible drug choice. I didn’t care whos heart I was breaking, who’s money I was taking, or where I was even going to end up in life. The only thing I cared about was getting high. Terrible to say I know but its true. I made SO MUCH MONEY every single night, and by the time I gotten home I only had enough money for a pack of smokes. Which Im still paying for since im hundreds of dollars in debt with my school with no income comming in.

Once I got caught I lost everything. My drug, my “friends”, I even almost lost my job. My mom talked to my boss about everything and my ass was on lockdown every single day at work. I deserved it for acting like such a dummy.

After being able to keep my job (trust me I fought hard for it) I realized that those people I’d been calling my bestfriends only cared about the money I was dishing out. I got close to my other co-workers, and thats when I realized that not everybody sucks. Theres actually a lot of people in this world that are such amazing people. I enjoyed being with them everyday.

Also, I started really, really loving my family. I know now that I couldn’t live without them. Even though I broke there hearts they still love me. Which of course thats what family does, but some familys do give up on “drug addicts”. Mine didn’t which Im so very grateful for. At the time I’ll be honest I didnt realzie this. I did everything I could to make my family angry with me so eventually they’d kick me out. The never did. THANKGOD! If I would of had to live on my own, Id be screwd.

I’m not all grown up I know im still gonna be a kid for awhile, but dont call me a kid because ill cut you! Aahah. I still get angry, and throw my little teenage temper tantrums. But I today Im a much more open person. I have nothing to hide from anyone. Im just happy where I am.

Also, this year im getting my head out of my ass & graduating!! Actually, I plan to graduate within the next 6 months since thats when Im supposed to be graduating. It’s going to be so hard to actually get it in gear when Im so used to “ohhh its a do it at your own pace school, I dont have to do it today… blahhblahhblahh”. Well, now I don’t got time for that.

Well, thanks for reading ❤
XOXOXOXOXO; Kaylalarissax3

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~ by kaylalarissax3 on December 11, 2012.

7 Responses to “I’m better than I used to be.”

  1. Thank you. For being you, for growing up, for your insight and for freely sharing. I’m sure many could and should learn from you. Last night, I just learned a young man I’ve known most of his life thru my sister-in-law’s family, just lost his life to drugs and drink. These demons I hate. I don’t think God will blame me for hating this. I don’t and won’t apologize for this. I wish Donnie had had the chance to learn your life’s experience. You’d think a 49 year old would know better. At least he’s not fighting his demons any more. May God bless Donnie.

  2. Aww girl you’re so young and have already been through that sort of shit. Good for you for getting out though. You seem to know what you want and know how to get it. That’s so awesome. Can’t wait to read more.

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